Coffee.

Dear World, today you taught me that a cup of coffee goes a long way. Sometimes in the midst of the chaos running through your mind, it is much needed to settle into a quiet place, a comfy chair, and a shot of espresso. While you expected to be alone to determine your thoughts, oddly enough you end up sharing such a space with someone who is willing to listen and take hold of your heart as if it were their own. I call that a blessing. When it's hard to grasp the things that tumble through your head and keep you up at night....share it. Someone is listening because they want to and also that someone may know exactly what it's like to be you. And if not, the ears were made to listen just as the heart was made to feel. Life is confusing but it is also wonderful. There are just as many ups as to downs and when you feel like crying go ahead....that's why God made tears. It's hard to understand the reasons behind the choices that made you act out of character but to put it simply.... you're human. It's what we do. And as easy as it is to stumble and make mistakes, if you try you can choose to take new steps and leave new footprints. We all struggle and at the end of each day, someone if not all, is in a battle of big proportions and small. It is all relative. We are all more alike than we tend to think and I hope in all ways that your heart will love the people whom you have not yet met and the places you have yet to go. As far as the places you have been and the place you are at now, your signature of love has been written. Life will never be perfect and that's okay because it makes room for adventure. Remember that sometimes the dreams that come true are the dreams you never knew you had. I love each of you for your smiles and your pain, for your hopes and your fears and every inch of creativity that embodies your soul. Simple or complex your beautiful on the inside and out. And for what it's worth the world wouldn't be half as interesting without you in it. Keep the faith.
Love ya,
Niki

Reflection

The leaves have chosen to fall bit by bit changing colors before they steep to the ground of the earth. Summer has waved goodbye, although rays of sunshine still sweep across my face. As seasons change, so do I. The air is tinted with a crispness that reminds my heart the holidays are near. People change as quickly as the leaves and just like seasons come and go, so do they. I look around and I see change. Everyday, all around in every nook and cranny things are changing. It is rather beautiful. As cozy as it feels to be comfortable and content, we are still changing day by day. I sometimes forget to remember where I was or what I was doing or how I was feeling a year ago today. Whatever details I could conjure up about those moments, what I know for sure is that I have changed. And the moments I have shared with others have changed too. Reflecting can take you back to a time and a place that brought you joy, happiness, hurt and pain. Where are you know? I hope that you are stronger, braver, happier and that if you ever felt troubled, your troubles have traveled far, far away. You see in a way change is what is normal. What is even better is that we are all changing together. As the story goes we have helped the progression of one another to allow our hearts to grow fonder, our knowledge to grow deeper, and our lives to be changed forever. As you are I appreciate you. Whatever you want to be I am excited for you. Who you become will be an awfully big adventure. I look forward to reading your story. As for me.....the reflections I see are maps to my imagination. People I have met, places I have seen and dreams waiting to come true. Don't forget your wishes...you get more than three.
With so much love,
Niki Lee

The world spins madly on...

That's life...that's what all the people say. It is very likely that you and I may interpret those two little words very differently. When things start to look up you sometimes find yourself practically prancing through life on your tip-toes but when the sunlight fades and the darkness arises you may be deeply troubled with the challenges you face. Today someone cried, someone fell in love, someone fell out of love, someone witnessed a miracle, someone was a miracle, someone recognized the day for it's goodness and someone was unbearably reminded by it's harshness. If you cried today I hope you get the chance to smile tomorrow. If you were immersed in a world of beauty that gave you goose bumps, I hope you share what you have seen. If you were touched by a distant thought or a faded memory, I hope your reflection of it created a new meaning in your mind. Today was shared with each and everyone of you and I find that to be perfectly amazing. You see, your day shapes my day and days to come as mine does to you. When your  happy I may not be happy but your happiness brings light into my troubles. If my heart is full I hope it beams to those who need some mending. I may not know your name and you may have only seen me pass you by ever so briefly....but you changed my day. In small ways and in all sizes in between, your presence leaves it's mark on the entire world. Share your smiles and your tears, your heartaches and fulfillment. Encourage those around you to dream and to dream BIG. There is such goodness all around yet it is so easily missed. Laugh a little or a lot and don't be shy to say I love you. I love you!!! See that was easy!!!! Don't be so hard on yourself. Frank Sinatra was right when he said, 

"But I won't let it, let it get me down cause this fine world keeps spinning round." Let's go for a ride....it will be bumpy and we might fall off but it will be unforgettable I can promise you that. Cheers to tomorrow..... Live for today. xoxo

love you always

niki 

To the man in the Moon

Dear Man in the Moon,
Without a doubt you've got the best view in the house. Even when we can't see you, you can always see us, spinning and turning in perfection. Your light guides us on summery nights and chilled winter evenings. You sit punctually observing the world at it's worst and at it's best. Surrounded by whispers of glittery dust you are never alone. History entails the depths within your view and shooting stars contain the deepest of hopes and placed among you are the dreams of our globe. Reflecting from the sun you partner to work simultaneously sharing the illumination of nations. You have heard stories never to be told and have witnessed the mysteries that may never be solved. Your presents provides safety and comfort because no matter where we may be, it is you we can always see. The sky changes in ways miraculous to the eye. Colors that would seem only to be real in a story book where the stars play "peek-a-boo". But it's all very real, not just a glimpse but true reality. I have heard it said, "When in doubt, look up." For many reasons faith reaches out its hand through the faintness of your face and we return home to the thought of your light. I wish I may I wish I might have the wish I wish tonight.
always love,
Niki

Spark of Creation

Creation: The world and all things in it. To be born with imagination that allows your entire existence to ponder the unimaginable. To regard everything as it is but to make the decision if it is as it should be. I have only been here for a short while compared to forever, which is an awfully long time but every tick of the clock has taught me the precise things that I need to know. Patience, a mountain I have learned to climb slowly, gradually inching my way to the top. Instead of being in such a hurry, gratitude is found when life is taken a little more slowly, patiently. The truth is presented in the moments you are present in and as always the truth will set you free. Without worry and without cares you see people for who they are. You notice the stories their eyes have been trying to tell and for the first time in awhile you want more than ever to be apart of that never ending story. Home is where the heart is, nevertheless, people make a home. Wherever I go and wherever I end up if ending up is really where I will ever be, those around me will make my house a home and it will be made with each and every story, every journey, every beginning and every ending until it is finished. Too many pages to even grasp, this world will read the greatest tale that has ever been written. I look forward to seeing each of you dream wide awake, and grasp the things that are no longer impossible. Always love along the way....
Xoxo
Niki Lee

Cast and Crew. May 4, 2011

Happy. Contented from the inside out with anxious joy that lingers from your finger tips to your toes. I have spent the last two months and a little bit more with the most creatively beautiful people I have ever met. Talented yes, but each and every one of their hearts is full of much more than that. Our cheeks have been painted the perfect shade of pink and our lips have been defined with a hint of fuchsia. Bow ties are perfectly fitted around the necks of dreamy leading men and their hands are there to twirl us right and then left at the precise moment. Costumes are ready, dress up has been played. The lights are burning and although the house is still empty, the air still contains it's spark. Music plays from the space below it's 5,6,7,8 lets go. Places have been called and will be called again as the lights go dim and your heart begins to race. Soon there will be applause, loud and thunderous to say the least and every moment placed on the stage will never be forgotten. In this place and in this time, nerves set in and release butterflies into your soul. Warm faces touched by a whisper of the spotlight calm you down and you quickly realize you are sharing the stage and this entire experience with people you absolutely adore and love. Thank you all for being exactly as you are, old and new were a family that I know I will never live without. For your handprints have touched my heart forever and there it will stay.

Always,

Niki

still.

Just a little side note.....

To be quiet and patient only to listen. To see whats around you from every angle. You notice the cracks in the pavement, the new leaves on the tree's and sun kissed cheeks on the faces of those walking by. You see possibility with summer so near, but not yet close enough to taste. The air is warm, the sun is bright and the heat lays upon your skin. The streets are full of people of every kind. The breeze brings people about to wonder the newly lit earth by it's sunshine thats been far away all winter.  Bicyclist ride by on your way to school and the neighborhood cat prances along side you. Familiar faces make your heart smile from within  and you are greeted by the presence of memories that made your heart feel that exact same way. The sky stays blue for much longer until it fades into majestic shades of pink and purple. The window is propped open as you lay your head to sleep and the sound of night takes you away into the land of the dreams. Life is beautiful. In more ways than I can see and in more ways than I have even experienced. Dreams are coming true all around me and wishes have been answered. People will be leaving in a few short months to conquer the unknown with everything they've got. Themselves. If anything gets left behind it will not be whats within. Oh the places you will go....far away or close by you will always carry the love within your soul and the joy and proudness of simply being you. Whatever it is you wish to be I believe that you can do it. Go to the places that seem too pretty to even be real and remember that home is where your heart began its journey and that it will always be there to fill in the blanks if you need it to. Every once in awhile in the midst of life....just be still. Look around. Quietly regard the day for what it is and how lucky we are to be apart of it. 

xxoo

Niki

little wonders.

The past is forever put away, the present is unwrapping itself as we speak, and the future is yet to be known. What we know now we have learned from our past, and the choices that face us presently will affect our future. Regardless of time and place, now or later each of these moments are tied together with simple little wonders. People above all place their handprints on our hearts without even knowing it. A smile passed from one another while two strangers walk past each other on a rainy day. Timeless sweethearts holding wrinkled hands and a warm welcome home even though you have only been gone for a few days. When your mom holds you tight and kisses your cheek and your dad tells you he loves you and that your doing a good job. When you first learned how to drive at fifteen, being taught by your seventeen year old brother hitting all the potholes along the way even though he told to "look out" for them. Endless hope seen in the eyes of a child and a tiny finger wrapping around yours makes you realize you are looking directly at a God given miracle. Stars blink above letting you know they are still there and the breeze whirls about fallen leaves allowing spring to bounce into it's presence. Happiness is lit from within your soul because finally the things that pondered your mind are starting to make sense. Answers are unspoken not fully figured out, but it is taken care of by He who knows all and is greater than all. You noticed warmth in the faces that once seemed cold, and yet again you are brought back to life how you knew it: filled with love. Unforgettable love by the one's who taught you how to tie your shoes and unbeatable love by the One who you gave you life. "Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark" and the dark doesn't seem so scary anymore and the monsters underneath your bed have been recognized to be your old slippers you lost years ago. A childlike sense brings you back to the simplicity of this life and how it should be lived. Once upon time you yourself were a child with endless hope set in your eyes and when your small hand was cradled by your hero you made miracles a reality for someone else. 2 Timothy 2:1 Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus...what a wonder that would be. To my own little wonders, for it is you that I am who I am and it is You that I will always make it through. As for the miracles...Thank you Jesus. With a touch of imagination and a poof of pixie dust I love you to infinity and beyond. 

always and forever,

Niki

To walk in your shoes.

At any given moment life can change. Faster than your heart can beat, instances appear turning small moments into vast journeys you weren't prepared to even start. You find yourself on an open road with no where to go. You tell yourself that if the world stops turning, than so do I. The only problem is, the world will keep turning even when it doesn't feel like it, and that journey you have been going on would like you to continue along it. Time will feel too fast and too slow and sometimes it will exist to be frozen. A timeless journey lost in the midst of what you wished for, but with the reality of it not happening. It may all feel unreal, and unforgettably unfair, but each and every step you take you are progressing. Progressing towards something you cannot yet see or touch or feel. Remember that every footprint you leave behind may help someone else find their way. A little farther ahead you may see a set of footprints that lead you down a path you have never seen before but the comfort of knowing someone else has been there will keep you going. You may cross over broken bridges only to step into a footprint that fits yours perfectly. Where ever you have been, odds are someone else has been there before. And where ever you are now, odds are someone else is standing next to you, identically sharing each step you take. Unknown of their presence, you continue to walk leaving life experiences behind that you have learned from to now move forward. Leave little pieces of faith along the way and wet the earth with your tears, something will grow in it's place. It has been said, "To live would be an awfully big adventure." So go ahead, let your journey be an adventure. You never where it might take you or who you will meet along way. If you trip, you may fall. But sometimes things fall right into place, and yes in some moments....that means you. 

Always,

Niki 

One of those days.

I don't know what's in the air this month but february has captured my thoughts. I usually write when something is on my heart so here we go again. First off, it's rainy and it has been rainy for quite sometime or so it feels like it. The clouds aren't perfected shapes in the sky and the sun is tucked behind gloomy days.  The moon is out tonight glowing with beauty which is nice to see. It's neat to think that we all sleep under the same sky no matter where we might be or where we might go. Apart from the despiteful weather it's always a blessing to wake up to a new day regardless of whether the earth decided to be happy or not. But who is to say the earth isn't cheerful...? When it rains, it doesn't always pour but either way take it as you would like. As far as my little piece of earth that I walk around on each day, I have found that every marking and every place is a memory. Memories that are clearly to be remembered or else they would have been forgotten. It's not always easy or comfortable to stumble upon a place that once tickled your heart or made tears dwell in your eyes, but for whatever reason you felt those feelings. Now what to do with them? Learn. To learn that every encounter is a chance to grow. Some of the best experiences are the ones that hurt the most but what an unforgettable encounter to have been touched so deeply. The best days of your life often don't appear that way until the day is already over but luckily enough you have the memory to remind you of it. The hardest decision and choice to make is to figure out how to deal with the times of "what was" or how it could of been. In any situation you are living in the "right now" and what has happened is gone. So what is to come next...? I couldn't tell you but I pray that it is more than lovely.  I hope that the things you wish to forget can be sparked by a moment of something that made you smile. No matter where you are, the sky is both yours and mine and that will always be true. The clouds will part and form images from your imagination and they will tumble back together again to fill the earth with pure moisture. Rain or shine today is yours. Sometimes you grasp it and other you times you just try to get by...and you will get by because even though you don't see it someone is gently pushing you along, especially when you need it most. You don't always have to be so brave or so strong. Today may have caught you off guard but you made it through right...? There is always time to smile and when things are funny you laugh even when you don't want to. For today, I can say I made it through. To tomorrow, I must wait and see what you have in store. To all of you, I pray that your happiness may be found each and everyday and that you never feel alone. Dr. Seuss once said, "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." 


Dear God,
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change 
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Amen. night night

4 letters.

Love. A four letter word that holds meaning bigger than our atmosphere. One can love yes, but to love unconditionally is solely found in the one and only. The one who gave you and I life. The one who teaches us to love always and not to judge. To embrace the weak and pray for those you've never even met. To forgive in all aspects, all spectrums. To realize that people are people and that people will make mistakes. You will get hurt and you will hurt others, not intentionally but sometimes so. Remember what it was like to suffice to your wrong doing and to be honestly forgiven. Also remember what it was like to open your heart to forgive even when you felt broken. If your troubled the odds are someone else is too, pray for them. Keep in touch with the one who knows your heart and mind better than you do, He created it. You may feel scattered or incapable of being put back together but when in doubt, look up. You will be whole again because what lives in you is far greater then ever imagined. The stars are aligned perfectly not by chance and we know that the world is round. We have been placed here to wonder and to question why and I hope you do. Answers you may have might not be answered right away, but keep the faith because someone is listening. At this very moment you are loved. When the tears stream your down face you are loved and when your eyes sparkle with joy you are loved. You are always loved in every moment and in every stage of your life. There will be disappointments and a sense of worry but cast your cares to the skies. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Be willing to take chances but to not be hasty, there is a difference. You will never be given more than you can bear. Let love in and love in return. I appreciate every encounter my small life has received, thank you for touching my heart in every way I will never forget it. From the bottom of my heart, love always.

Soft Focus.

I want to live my life by one virtue. Truth. To be honest in all situations even if it's hard to admit that I'm wrong. I don't want to choose to live vicariously or hastily therefore putting the feelings of others second to mine. I would hope that those around me would consider my interests as highly as their own, as I would choose to do the same for them. Life get's sticky and complicated and unfair and everyday I have the choice to reject those situations. Sometimes those situations arise without realizing we are even apart of it, when in fact were finding ourselves right in the middle of it. So what do you do...? Steadfast and seek the truth with the risk of losing something of importance...? Or stay right where you are because it's comfortable and easier to go along for the ride...? The easy way out is the road most taken but I choose the narrow one. The road without directions or a certainty of a destination. I will take the road less traveled because whatever struggle I face now I may face again in a different light. And if so, I want to learn to overcome it with dignity and heart. I don't want to be distracted by victory or become comfortable because I have defeated, I would rather lose and be knocked down to come out stronger and justified by honesty to know that doing what is right is what always should be done. Right and wrong seems black and white but this world presents matters much harder than "this way or that way." What do you see...? Is the world open and bright, in crystal clear focus...? Or is it blurry, making your eyes soften so you can't see what actually is between the lines...? Or do you choose to surpass the writing on wall because it's too hard to take in or so unfair that you don't know how to fight it alone...? If you stumble, I hope to be there to pick you up. If I trip, I hope to grasp your hand before I fall. Right or wrong your conscience will always tell you what is true. You may start out alone, but you will soon meet those that are attached to your heart because your hearts are made up of the same. To live is an awfully big adventure and to love is to be honest. The truth lies within all, seek it and you will find it. Be it for others to see. Love you...Niki

What If

To know, is to regard something as true beyond doubt. Depending on the day I know too much and by the end of the night I realize I know too little. I carelessly question things I should know the answer to and I endlessly ponder things I am never going to figure out. I cannot change the things that are now apart of the past and I cannot predict what is to come next. Life happens because it is meant to be lived, this I know is true. Dreaming occurs while your asleep, but while your awake is when those dreams become reality...this I also know to be true. Sometimes when it's sunny it feels cold and in most cases the grass really isn't greener on the other side. Have you noticed that when you over sleep you wake up even more exhausted than before? It's kind of like when you pop in an old VHS and press fast forward instead of rewind so by the time you actually rewind it you don't want to watch it anymore. I think that cookies taste better before they are baked but you might think this statement is false. I know that such things like fact and fiction exist, but I think the unreal and imaginary is far more interesting to believe in. Belief does not always come from truth and the certainty of it is not proven. It comes from within, something that speaks to your heart or produces excitement in your soul. Disneyland is a real place and Tinkerbell can fly, I have seen it. I have never been to Neverland or seen the mermaid lagoon but somewhere it must be real. To disregard reality for what it is would be foolish yes, to regard reality with hope will leave you hopeful. The imaginary is real and true have you stepped outside? Yes the sky is blue but at sunset it beats the imagination. I don't know what tomorrow brings, but that is a question within itself waiting for an answer. Goodnight...sweet dreams. Niki

the year is new.

Moving forward doesn't mean to forget but rather embrace the excitement that comes from something new. The unknown can be scary or seem to be deceiving, but take heart and know that good things come with time. Love is patient, love is kind, often heard and hard to follow. The possibilities of not knowing what comes next or how to figure it out can be frightening leaving you with a little less faith than you had before. But don't be so scared, yes it is natural to shy away from what you don't quite know but sometimes what you don't know could turn out to be the greatest ending to your very own story. Sometimes we don't see what's right in front us because in actuality we aren't even looking, but by chance it flashes by just in time to be noticed. It causes you to wonder, to think about new and intriguing things that tug at your heart strings or make you take an extra breath because something just took your breath away. A tiny moment could change your story that you thought you already knew the ending to. Be taken by surprise, be open to the things that make you question why or why not. Let go and have peace with what you don't know, see where it takes you. Try to love people for who they are... not what you want them to be. Accept challenges and be humbled by defeat, victory is found through happiness. Share your story, there is always someone listening even if it appears your all alone. Life will be hard but bring it on because it will also be great. Make a wish to the new year and maybe it will come true just as you expected or maybe it won't. Maybe, just maybe your wish will turn out even better than you expected, leaving you speechless. Hope for the best and always laugh even if it makes you cry. To 2011, never lose heart and imagine the impossible to be true. I'll be seeing you, xoxo.